There has never been a time in the history of this world, when so many humans have had so much information, literally, at their fingertips. The internet. A mixed and nearly endless bag of research, marketplace, and entertainment; from the worst to the best and everything in between. It's a web for sure, and figuring out whether or not the latest trends in anything are true or a good idea can be...perilous. Tide pods aside, we are adults talking about health and wellness questions that are sometimes researched or promoted in tricky and juicy ways. These promos offer relief or pleasure, of some type. I'd like to share some strategies I use to negotiate said Endless Path of Hacks.
Let's go:
Let's breathe together first, please!
In one two three four five six
Hold one two three four five six
Out slowly sighing one two three four five six seven eight
One more time
And once again
Ahhhhhhhhh brain better now. Seriously, I can actually hear the birds chirping outside instead of the low noise chatter that can run in my brain. If you know, at all, what I'm talking about you may have already been 'diagnosed' with ADD, anxiety, overthinking, or some similar label. While we aren't going to dispute any of that today; we will...wait a minute, spoiler alert! See hack #1 below.
WARNING TO ALL WHO ENTER
Proceed with caution
Possible cliches ahead
Any further and you may rethink things that you've done your whole life!
1. “Let him who would move the world first move himself.”
― Socrates
You get to say who you are. Choose your own ID labels wisely. What you say and think about yourself can give you freedom to act, or make you feel like a victim. Here's my own example from earlier: Instead of ADD, or over-thinker, I use 'high mental energies'. Does that mean I deny symptoms? Not at all. My label reminds me that I've got a race car brain, and am 'highly kinesthetic', and if I get too much caffeine, refined sugar, or even a lick of Red Dye 40, I'll go off the rails. I know I won't be able to accomplish the things I want to, unless my choices help me. Feel the difference as you say these statements out loud: I have 'high mental energies' and 'I have ADD'. 'I feel anxious right now' and 'I have social anxiety'.
Action: Pick your top three labels. Restate them accurately in a way that allows your choices and actions to make a difference in your outcomes.
2. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
What we call ourselves, or listen to others call us, matters. Truly, when you've been told something for 20 years, it's in there. Deep-seated in the darkest dankest recesses of our subconscious psyche, right? Way too far and way too hard to find and change. Well, pressure seems to bring it out pretty easily! Squeezes right on out, sometimes before we know it and without our permission. We sit there just as shocked as anyone else, wishing we could take it all back, but nope. Or clueless that we are even expressing symptoms so hard until some cringey later time. Here's the thing, we get to hold self and others accountable. Catching ourselves even a few times will produce dramatic and fast results.
Action: Catch yourself using an old label. STOP. Breathe. Get to you. Plant your flag and use the new label you've created.
3. It's an inside job
You are your own job. We know that what each of us has experienced in life affects how we behave on a daily basis. While we can't go back and change anything, we can affect the effect it has on our daily minutes. NOTE: This part can get really serious quickly. Many have heard of the ACE's scale, or Adverse Childhood Experiences model and have a fairly clear idea of where they are. If you don't know, can't remember, or know you have unresolved trauma, this part is best done with professional assistance. Psychologists, social workers, pastoral counselors or lay counselors can be a great resource to help uncover and address underlying trauma.
If you are comfortable and feel that solo work in this area is safe for you, take the next action.
Action: Pick the top three behaviors you do, that you want to be different. Examples: I eat when I'm bored, I yell when I'm frustrated, I drive fast when I'm mad. Schedule time with yourself on a calendar, to pick the first one to press on. Now, reverse engineer how this came to be what you do. Hints: Think of what the issue is that provokes this behavior, the first time you behaved this way, how does your heart you feel when you behave this way, how you feel when you can't behave this way, how others feel about this behavior, how other people handle the issue this addresses, other ways you can behave that will feel better to you and still address the issue.
4. All we have is the now
After all of these hacks, it sounds silly to say all we have is now. YOLO and such. However, self care hacks and the now are not mutually exclusive. What we say to ourselves and how we treat ourselves in the minutes matters. Life is epic. The highest highs and lowest lows. Teeth kicked out to best day so far. Our resilience to withstand and even ride the next wave may come directly from the minutes just prior to the event. And when our soul is fed we are more vibrant and resilient. It’d be great if we could have a balance of duty and pleasure, sacrifice and rest, work and fun every day but that isn't always doable. I have a technique I call micro-slices of pleasure. Take 30 seconds to appreciate the way the curtains reflect the sunlight and make the trees look like fairy tale creatures. Make the call to mom when you're just beat, remember the day your child was born and how that felt.
Action: For one solid day, take a minute or so each hour to feed/nourish/pet yourself.